The Love(s) That Changed Me

A blog series by Jessica Woodville
Theme: Love, Loss, and the Lies We’re Told About Both

Prologue: Love Like This

“Maybe I just need to be loved right. Maybe that’s all I need to heal.” —me, once, in a moment of brutal honesty I didn’t realize the world would hear

They say we only get three great loves in our lifetime. One that looks like innocence. One that feels like chaos. And one that finally teaches us what love is supposed to be.

I used to believe in love the way little girls believe in fairy tales. I waited for the knight in shining armor to arrive— ready to rescue me from the ruins. I thought that if someone loved me enough, all the broken pieces would find their way back together.

What no one told me is that sometimes, love is the thing that breaks you. Or worse— love becomes the excuse for staying broken.

This isn’t a fairy tale. This is a collection of truths. A story stitched together from scars and sighs, from things whispered in the dark and screamed into pillows.

It’s about the love I chased, the kind I mistook for safety, the kind that was survival in disguise. And the kind I still wonder if I deserve.

I learned love from television screens and fractured homes. I learned love by watching women shrink themselves to be chosen. I learned love from watching my mother cry into her hands and my father disappear into other women.

And I carried those lessons into every relationship I touched.

This series isn’t about blame. It’s about understanding. It’s about grief, and longing, and the aching hope that maybe—just maybe— something softer still exists for girls like me. The ones who learned how to carry swords before we learned how to be held.

So here it is: the love that shaped me. All of it. The good. The devastating. And the kind I still dream about in the early hours of morning before reality settles in.

Because maybe healing isn’t just about doctors and diagnoses. Maybe, just maybe, it’s about learning to love ourselves in a way no one else ever taught us how.

And maybe that’s where the real story begins. Not with the first kiss, but with the first no. The first quiet rebellion. The first time I realized that love should not feel like walking through a minefield barefoot.

Which brings us to now. To the whore’s baths. To the whispered prayers. To the girl still crawling her way back to the surface— mud-slicked, mascara-smeared, and still stubborn enough to believe she’s not done yet.

**stay tuned weekly for each chapter drop**

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter One: Whores Baths and Landmines
Chapter Two: Lessons About Love
Chapter Three: A First Love
Chapter Four: The Family I Loved but Left
Chapter Five: The Love That Crash and Burned
Chapter Six: The Love With Castle Walls
Chapter Seven: The Love That Bled Me Dry
Chapter Eight: The Love I Found Within
Chapter Nine: Lessons in the Shape of Men
Chapter Ten: Love, Rewritten
Epilogue: For a Future Filled With Love