Jessica Woodville | Memoir & Musings

Speaking the Unspeakable to Turn Pain Into Purpose

By Jessica Woodville

When I first started writing my memoir, Smoking in Garages: A Survivor’s Story of Trauma and Resilience, I wasn’t trying to be brave. I was just trying to make sense of my story, to put words to the things I had spent a lifetime carrying in silence.

But what I learned through writing—and through connecting with other survivors—is that silence is where trauma thrives. And every time we speak our truth, we take back a little bit of the power it once held over us.

Recently, I was honored to have a conversation with Cendie from ACEs Matter, and she mentioned the possibility of me speaking at an upcoming mental health summit. She loved the idea of my talk being about “30 seconds of courage”—how small, courageous moments can change the trajectory of a life.

Whether I step onto that stage in October or not, this message is one I believe in with my whole heart. Our stories matter. Our voices matter. And healing begins the moment we allow ourselves to be heard.

So today, I’m resharing the talk I would give—the one I hope will inspire someone out there to find their own 30 seconds of courage.

Because sometimes, that’s all it takes to change everything.

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Let me truly start with a question.

If I asked you to stand up right now and tell this room the hardest thing you’ve ever survived—could you do it?

Your hands might shake. Your heart might pound. Maybe your mind races, thinking, I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

For a long time, I felt the same way.

I have a 10 out of 10 Adverse Childhood Experiences score. For those who don’t know, the ACE study links childhood trauma to lifelong health risks. The higher your score, the greater your risk for things like heart disease, autoimmune disorders, addiction, and mental health struggles.

It’s a number that tells a story—a story of pain, of survival, but also of resilience.

My story includes a drug-addicted parent. A parental kidnapping. And years inside the troubled teen industry—a system that claimed to “fix” kids like me but instead left us more broken.

Later, I would survive domestic violence and eventually medical trauma—losing years of my life to a misdiagnosis that nearly killed me.

For years, I carried these experiences in silence. I believed that if I spoke them aloud, they would bring nothing but shame or pity. But here’s what I’ve learned:

Silence is where trauma thrives.

It isolates us. It keeps us small. It convinces us that our pain is just something we have to endure.

But something happens when we speak the unspeakable.

It loses its power over us.

When I started writing my memoir, Smoking in Garages: A Survivor’s Story of Trauma and Resilience, I wasn’t trying to be brave. I was just trying to survive.

But what I found in the process was something unexpected—freedom.

The more I spoke my truth, the less control it had over me. The more I shared, the more I realized I wasn’t alone.

And that’s why I’m here today—to tell you that your story matters.

Not because of the pain, but because of what comes after.

30 Seconds of Courage Can Change a Life

Healing doesn’t happen in grand gestures. It happens in moments.

Sometimes, all it takes is 30 seconds of courage—the bravery to tell the truth, to speak up, to reach out.

🔹 30 seconds to ask for help.
🔹 30 seconds to say, “This happened to me.”
🔹 30 seconds to tell someone else, “Me too.”

Because those 30 seconds can change a life. Maybe even save one.

But Here’s the Part We Don’t Talk About Enough

It shouldn’t take bravery just to survive.

Survivors of childhood trauma aren’t just fighting personal battles—we are fighting systems that were never designed to help us heal.

The ACE study is nearly 30 years old—yet what have we done with this knowledge?

We know childhood trauma leads to chronic illness, addiction, and early death—yet we treat the symptoms instead of the root cause.

We criminalize survival mechanisms.
We medicate pain instead of addressing it.
We expect people who were abandoned as children to “figure it out” as adults.

As I wrote in my memoir:

“Society is abandoning those with ACEs the way they were abandoned in childhood.”

We—childhood trauma survivors—are sent out into the world with nervous systems wired for survival, then blamed for struggling to live.

We cannot keep telling survivors that healing is their personal responsibility while ignoring the systemic failures that made healing necessary in the first place.

We Are Not Just Our ACE Scores

The ACE study tells us that childhood trauma can shape our health, our choices, even how long we live.

But what it doesn’t measure is:

✨ The power of healing.
✨ The strength of the human spirit.
✨ The possibility of breaking cycles.

I stand here as proof that we are not just statistics.

We are survivors.
And we are storytellers.

Find Your 30 Seconds of Courage

So, if you are holding onto a story you think is too much—too painful, too broken—I challenge you to find your 30 seconds of courage.

Speak the unspeakable.

Because when we do, we don’t just heal ourselves.

We create a world where others feel safe enough to heal, too.

And that is how we break the cycle.

Special Dedication

For those we’ve lost, the ones who can no longer tell their stories…

🤍Matthew Wood
🤍Bethany Prosser
🤍Tiffany “Spaggs”
🤍Rodney Stanford
🤍And many more…