Self-publishing a memoir is a leap of faith. You write your story, put it into the world, and hope it finds the people who need to hear it most. When I published Smoking in Garages: A Survivor’s Story of Trauma and Resilience, I knew I couldn’t wait for permission.
I had to take the leap.
And I’m proud that I did.
But now, as I stand in the aftermath of that leap, I find myself treading water—not drowning, but not quite reaching the shore either.
I’ve learned a lot. And the more I learn, the more I see areas I want to refine—not because I regret publishing, but because I now see how much better this book could be with the right support.
The Reality of Self-Publishing: Lessons from the Deep End
When I decided to self-publish, it was because I wanted full creative control over my story. I wanted it raw, real, and unfiltered, exactly as it was meant to be.
And I don’t regret that decision for a second.
But what I’ve learned since releasing my memoir is this:
🖤 Rawness and refinement aren’t enemies. They can exist together.
🖤 Editing is a different skill set than writing. I should have trusted someone else to help me.
🖤 Marketing is brutal when you’re already exhausted.
This book deserves more than I currently have the strength to give it. Memoirs like mine—ones about surviving trauma, reclaiming your story, and confronting the past—don’t just magically find their audience. They take strategy, marketing, and stamina to reach the people who need them.
And honestly? I don’t have that kind of stamina right now.
Writing this book took so much out of me. And now, I find myself too drained to push it forward the way it deserves. That truth stings, but it’s also clarifying.
I don’t want to do this alone anymore.
I had one incredible person—Suuz—who helped with basic edits along the way, and I am forever grateful for her support. And I think even she would agree: taking the leap and getting the story out there was necessary.
I proved to myself that it wasn’t as scary as I thought.
And now? Now it’s time to take the next scary step.
It’s time to find an agent who can help me elevate this book and give it the life it deserves.
The Pursuit of My Village: Why I’m Looking for a Literary Agent
One thing this journey has made crystal clear?
I don’t want to do this alone.
Healing is never a solo act, and neither is writing. Just as I’ve spent years searching for my people—those who truly see me, support me, and understand my story—I now realize I need the same for my publishing journey.
So, I’m once again searching for a literary agent.
But not just any agent.
The right agent.
I’m looking for someone who:
✅ Is passionate about trauma recovery and resilience
✅ Loves memoirs with a strong personal voice
✅ Isn’t afraid to question societal norms
✅ Understands the importance of dark humor for trauma survivors
✅ Believes in hope, healing, and a greater future
I don’t just want an agent—I want a Horton.
Yes, as in Horton Hears a Who.
I need someone who will hear my voice, even when the industry might not be listening yet. Someone who understands that dark humor isn’t just edgy for the sake of edgy—it’s a survival mechanism, a coping tool, and for many trauma survivors, the only way we’ve learned how to process the unimaginable.
I want an agent who gets that balance, who sees the value in blending grit with humor, who understands that even in the darkest of stories, there’s room for laughter.
Because sometimes, survival is absurd.
And sometimes, the only way to keep moving forward is to find the humor in the horror.
What Comes After Trauma? My Next Memoir
While I consider refining Smoking in Garages, I’m also planning my next book:
A memoir about what comes after trauma.
Because healing isn’t just about surviving.
It’s about learning to live—really live—beyond the shadows of what broke you. It’s about rewiring your body and mind for joy, instead of just fear. It’s about building a life that isn’t just about avoiding pain, but about actively seeking happiness, adventure, and peace.
And as I navigate this next phase, my blog will be my in-between book—a space where I am unapologetically myself, sharing the messy, beautiful process of becoming.
Are You in the Middle of a Leap? Let’s Talk.
If you’ve ever taken a leap and realized mid-air that there was so much more to figure out, you’re not alone.
If you’ve ever found yourself treading water—not drowning, but not quite reaching the shore yet—I see you.
Let’s talk about it.
Because we’re all figuring it out, one messy, beautiful step at a time.
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Jessica Woodville | Memoir & Musings 
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